After the initial shock of being undermined fades, there’s a quieter but equally challenging phase: rebuilding. If you have ADHD, the rebuilding process may require more than just introspection—it might involve intentionally reworking how you approach your recovery. It’s not about seeking revenge or making noise—it’s about quietly reclaiming your sense of self while maintaining the unique energy you bring to the table.
How do you move forward when everything you worked for seems to slip away without reason? This post is a roadmap for picking up the pieces with grace.
When You Do Everything Right—and Still Lose
We’ve all been there: You give your best. You act with integrity. You deliver. And yet, you still lose. For those of us with ADHD, the frustration of being misunderstood or underappreciated can feel even more intense. It may seem like your efforts are constantly overlooked or misinterpreted. The world doesn’t always understand the work that goes on behind the scenes, especially for neurodivergent individuals whose contributions may look different. It’s tough to accept that doing the right thing didn’t lead to the outcome you expected—but you’ve still walked away with your principles intact.
This can feel especially hard for those with ADHD, whose thought patterns or communication styles may differ from the norm. If you’ve ever felt like the work you’ve done was ignored or invalidated, you are not alone. And it’s OK to mourn the situation—before moving forward.
Choosing Integrity Without Becoming Bitter
Integrity is an admirable trait, but for those with ADHD, staying true to your values in environments that aren’t accommodating can be exhausting. It’s tempting to give in to bitterness when your efforts are ignored, but it’s important to remember that integrity is the foundation for your future growth. ADHD brains can easily get overwhelmed by injustice, but by reframing these challenges as growth opportunities, you can shift your perspective without losing sight of your values.
For neurodivergent individuals, bitterness can be a heavy burden. It clouds your ability to make clear, strategic decisions. Choosing integrity doesn’t mean you have to suffer silently—it means finding ways to stay aligned with your values while protecting your well-being.
How to Protect Yourself During Scale
When organizations scale, the stakes get higher. As teams grow, new dynamics emerge. It’s essential to protect your values during this time. Check in with your culture regularly. Who gets the credit? Who feels seen? Who isn’t in the room? The answers to these questions often reveal a lot about where things are headed.
Keeping yourself aligned with your values during rapid change can prevent the erosion of your integrity. For neurodivergent individuals, this might mean creating more structured boundaries or asking for explicit communication. The chaos of a scaling environment can be especially difficult for those with ADHD, so taking small steps to protect your space will go a long way.
What HR Can and Can’t Do
HR can be a complicated area to navigate, especially for neurodivergent individuals who might find it harder to communicate their needs clearly in high-pressure environments. HR often adheres to standard procedures that may not account for the nuances of neurodivergence, leaving employees feeling like they’re on their own. Knowing where HR’s responsibilities end and where you need to advocate for yourself is key. For individuals with ADHD, it’s vital to know when to advocate for more support and when to create space for yourself.
Rebuilding Reputation on Your Own Terms
Rebuilding isn’t about trying to regain what you lost. It’s about redefining your path forward, especially if you have ADHD, which may mean that your journey looks different from others. You may need to employ strategies that help you stay organized and centered as you rebuild, whether it’s using reminders, building a supportive network, or structuring your days with more intentional breaks. Your reputation is in your hands—don’t wait for permission to take ownership of your story. Each small action that aligns with your values will help you rebuild with confidence.
XO,
Kiki Meyers
CEO & Cofounder, Right Meow
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