Let’s pull back the lens a bit because this tendency to explain all the things isn’t just an inattentive ADHD party. Nope, whether your personal brand of ADHD leans more towards the hyperactive hustle, the combined flavor, or that sneaky inattentive style, the urge to over-explain can be a surprisingly common thread. So, if you’ve ever found yourself turning a simple question into a TED Talk, grab a seat – this one’s for you!
But Wait, There’s More! (The ADHD Woman’s Anthem): Taming the Over-Explanation Tendency at Work, No Matter Your Flavor
So, what’s the deal? Why does a straightforward query sometimes unlock the floodgates of context, potential pitfalls, and detailed justifications that could rival a legal disclaimer? Well, whether your internal landscape feels like a buzzing beehive 🐝 or a room full of fascinating (but sometimes distracting) puzzles 🧩, there are some shared reasons behind this verbal outpouring.
For many of us, our brains are constantly making connections – sometimes lightning-fast, sometimes in a delightfully circuitous way. We might see nuances and potential angles that others don’t immediately grasp. That quick “yes” in our head might be accompanied by a rapid-fire internal assessment of all the related factors, past experiences, and possible future implications. And we often feel the need to share this entire internal journey to ensure complete understanding.
Whether you’re the type whose leg bounces while you’re meticulously detailing a project, or the one whose mind drifts mid-sentence only to circle back with a sudden burst of relevant (and sometimes not-so-relevant) information, that underlying drive to be understood and to cover all bases can manifest as over-explanation.
Studies across the spectrum of ADHD presentations often point to challenges with executive functions – things like working memory, impulse control (which can definitely apply to our verbal output!), and the ability to filter out less relevant information. It’s like our brains are so good at generating ideas and connections that sometimes the “stop” button 🛑 gets a little sticky.
Think about it: if your mind races with possibilities (hello, hyperactive and combined types!), you might feel compelled to verbalize all those potential avenues. If your attention flits and you’re trying to piece together information (inattentive and combined types, I see you!), you might over-explain to solidify your understanding and ensure everyone else is on the same page. And for all of us, the fear of being misunderstood or dismissed can fuel the need to provide exhaustive justifications.
But let’s be real, in the professional arena, while our thoroughness can be a superpower in many ways, the over-explanation tendency can sometimes lead to:
- Lost Attention: You lose your audience in the details.
- Missed Key Messages: The important points get buried in the verbal avalanche.
- Time Constraints: Meetings run long, and decisions get delayed.
- The “Here We Go Again” Mentality: Sadly, some might perceive it as a lack of conciseness or an inability to get to the point.
But fear not! Regardless of how your ADHD presents itself, we can learn to channel our thoroughness into effective communication. Here’s your been-there, still-working-on-it guide to taming the over-explanation tendency at work:
1. The Power of the Pause (Seriously, Embrace It)
Before you respond, especially to a seemingly simple question, take a deliberate breath. That tiny pause can give your brain a precious moment to process and prioritize. Ask yourself: “What is the most direct and essential answer they need right now?”
- The Headline Approach: Imagine you’re writing a news headline. What’s the absolute core message? Start there. You can always add a sentence or two of brief supporting information if needed.
- The “Is More Really Better?” Test: Before you launch into a detailed explanation, ask yourself honestly: “Will more information actually be helpful here, or will it just create confusion?”
For me, the pause is a tough but helpful way to conquer my need to show-what-I-know (hello, imposter syndrome). And a few seconds of silence causes some of my less-brilliant ideas to fall out of my brain (see my series on ADHD and menopause for more on that subject!).
2. Structure is Your Savior (Think Outlines, Even for Spoken Words)
Our brains often thrive on structure. Applying that to our communication can be a game-changer.
- Mentally Outline Your Response: Before you speak, quickly think: “Point A, maybe a brief Point B, and then I’m done.” This mental framework can help you stay on track.
- Use Signposting Phrases (Sparingly!): Phrases like “In short…” or “The main thing to know is…” can help guide your listener to the key takeaway. But use them intentionally, not as a preamble to another five minutes of explanation!
I’m a note-taker (because menopause = no short-term memory 😰), so when others speak, I jot down key points and my thoughts. Then, in responding during meetings, I have notes to keep me on track.
3. Visualize Your Communication (Think Concise and Clear)
Sometimes, shifting our perspective can help.
- Imagine You’re Texting: How would you convey this information in a short, clear text message to a busy colleague? Distill it down to the essentials.
- Think “Elevator Pitch”: If you had 30 seconds to convey this information, what would you say?
I try to remember that unless the people I’m talking to are my besties, they haven’t earned the right to hear all of my brilliance! It keeps me from getting overly wordy in more formal situations.
4. Seek Feedback (From People Who Get You)
Find trusted colleagues or mentors who understand your communication style (or are willing to learn).
- “Can You Help Me Be More Concise?”: Frame your request as a desire to improve clarity and efficiency. They might offer specific examples of when you tend to over-explain and suggest alternative approaches.
- Reflect Together: After important meetings or presentations, ask for feedback on your communication style.
If this feels awkward, try framing it as a mutual development activity. Like, you offer feedback on my communication style and I’ll help you build your confidence and skillset in an area where I’m talented. Mutual win FTW!
5. Celebrate Clarity (It’s a Win!)
Notice when you successfully communicate concisely. Acknowledge that win! It might feel counterintuitive at first, like you’re leaving something out, but recognize the effectiveness of clear, direct communication.
Personally, I prefer to celebrate with ice cream, but you do you!
6. Self-Compassion is Key (We’re Works in Progress!)
This is a journey, not a destination. There will be times when the urge to over-explain wins. It’s okay. Acknowledge it, learn from it, and keep practicing. Our brains are wired uniquely, and finding the communication style that works best for us and our professional environments takes time and self-awareness. Treat yourself like you’d treat a colleague trying to master a difficult skill – with grace and forgiveness.
So let’s embrace our unique minds while also learning to communicate our brilliance with clarity and impact. We’ve got so much to offer, and sometimes, less truly is more when it comes to getting our amazing ideas across. Now, I could elaborate on all the nuances of effective communication strategies… but I think you get the gist. 😉
XO,
Marie Davis
COO & Cofounder, Right Meow
Follow me on LinkedIn
